When our son, Mason, died last June we experienced anguish like we’ve never known. At 4 months old he passed away unexpectedly during his afternoon nap. In the minutes, hours, days, weeks and months that followed his death we witnessed firsthand just how broken the current system is. The victimization we felt was something I … [Read more…]
I miss you so much. It’s so hard to believe that one little person could take up so much space in my heart but you do. We called you our sunshine and because of you our lives will always be brighter. But because you’re gone the days will always be grayer than they should. I … [Read more…]
{Written January 2nd 2014} A few weeks ago, Max karate kicked my revered glass jug. He didn’t mean to, he was just being a kid and excited because I was making ice cream. It could have been avoided if he’d been more careful but equally so, if I had put it in a safer spot. … [Read more…]
I’m sorry for being a shitty friend. Not to just one or two or three but lots of friends. It seems there are few that know what to do or say around me and they don’t want to hear me talk about my dead baby… AGAIN. They don’t want to listen when I try to … [Read more…]
Mason David Joseph Alexander went to Heaven on June 1st, 2016 at just 4 months and 7 days old. He passed peacefully by his mother’s side as he took his afternoon nap and woke up in the arms of Jesus. Mason left us sooner than we wished, but those who were touched by him understood … [Read more…]
I’ve been at a loss for words for days, what are you supposed to say during a time like this? Questions and decisions and planning that you hope and pray you never have to do but must. Matt, Max and I would first like to express our gratitude for the amount of love and … [Read more…]
Most people don’t know everything you lose when you lose a child. There’s so much more than the death, it touches every aspect, every relationship, every part of you. It’s solitary. It’s dark. It makes you crazy and sad and pathetic. I often find myself standing in Mason’s room, overwhelmed by his things. The … [Read more…]
(Graphic content) Unless you’ve heard the screams, Unless you’ve experienced the panic, unless you’ve held a tiny, cold, lifeless, blue body in your arms, unless you’ve desperately tried to breathe life back into that body, unless you’ve seen the bloody froth come from their nose and mouth, unless you’ve sat in your yard giving CPR … [Read more…]
I can still remember everything about that day. Never expecting that you’d go away. All of these thoughts crowded in my head, How is is possible? My baby can’t be dead. I remember your smile and playing with your toes. I remember kissing you right on your little button nose. I … [Read more…]